TOGETHERNESS
A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. Two people sitting in the same room are in close proximity, but they are not necessarily together.
Togetherness has to do with focused attention. When a father is sitting on the floor, rolling a ball to his two-year-old, his attention is not focused on the ball but on his child. For that brief moment, however long it lasts, they are together.
If, however, the father is talking on the phone while he rolls the ball, his attention is diluted.
Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in close proximity. They are in the same house at the same time, but they are not together. A husband who is watching sports on television while he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time, because she does not have his full attention. Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other’s eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.
— The 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman), Loc. 688–97